As Tantai Yi spoke, the words struck straight through Song Pu’s defences. He opened his mouth, yet no words came. He turned his gaze aside, avoiding that burning stare, and only after a moment did he murmur softly, “Your Majesty is surrounded by countless worthy and talented men, all eager to serve you. How could you possibly lack one such as me? And how could you be reluctant to part with me?”
Those had once been Tantai Yi’s angry words to him. Now, Song Pu returned them in kind.
Yet that shy, faintly defiant tone only proved how deeply Song Pu had taken them to heart.
Tantai Yi sensed it, and the restlessness within him finally eased, replaced by a faint, indefinable sweetness. The smile on his face gained a trace of genuine warmth.
Proud and self-centred as he was, Tantai Yi could not help but notice that Song Pu was just as stubborn and unyielding. How could he miss him so much, yet remain so resolute in refusing to return to his side? Tantai Yi could not understand it.
Still, this stalemate had dragged on far too long. Though he was proud, his patience was limited; he could not, like Song Pu, persist indefinitely in a state of quiet detachment.
If he missed Song Pu, and Song Pu missed him, why let such trivial matters keep them at an impasse?
At times, Tantai Yi was astonishingly obstinate; at others, he could arrive at clarity just as abruptly. Though his current actions ran counter to his earlier resolve, and though speaking them made him feel both embarrassed and vexed, the reaction he received stirred a strange emotion within him… something he could not name, yet did not dislike.
He lifted his chin slightly and said with composed restraint, “Does Lord Song doubt my words? I have said more than once that I regard you as a confidant. If you were willing, I could even take you as a male consort to remain by my side. My sincerity is thus, yet you dare to disregard it.”
For some reason, heat flooded Song Pu’s face. Tantai Yi was the sort of person who shone so brightly as to seem untouchable, and hearing such words from him gave rise to the disorienting sense that he himself was somehow special, even capable of monopolising that brilliance.
Or perhaps it was not merely an illusion.
His heart pounded violently, a faint flush spreading across his cheeks. When he tried to speak, his voice came out low and unsteady. “This subject would not dare doubt Your Majesty’s words.”
Precisely because he understood Tantai Yi a little, he could feel the weight behind such words.
A man as proud as Tantai Yi would never casually admit that he could not bear to part with someone. If he said it, then it must be sincere.
That only made it feel all the more unreal.
“What merit do I possess,” Song Pu said, voice dry, “that Your Majesty should think of me so?”
Tantai Yi replied, “Why belittle yourself? If I think of you, it is because you possess great talent, and because I value your virtues. Naturally, I would be reluctant to see you leave my side.”
Even at this point, he could not help but preserve a trace of his pride, attributing his attachment to Song Pu’s qualities rather than himself.
Song Pu could indeed sense his sincerity. Yet when he thought of the ease and comfort of his days away from the palace, and then looked back at Tantai Yi, he found himself unable to truly relax in his presence.
Still, Tantai Yi had already gone this far. As a subject, it would only be proper to meet him halfway. No matter how much grievance lingered before, it ought to end here. To press further might be taken as affectation. If such affection truly existed, why grind it away?
Song Pu drew in a breath, yet in the end he could not simply accept the offered way out. Suppressing the heat in his chest, he forced himself to meet Tantai Yi’s gaze, only to falter under its intensity. His eyes dropped instead to those perfectly shaped lips, as though crafted by the heavens.
“…There is something I have long wished to ask,” he said quietly. “At the summer residence when Your Majesty punished us, was it truly because we bathed in the stream and offended you?”
This matter had long remained a knot in his heart.
Perhaps Tantai Yi truly did hold him in some regard, but his arbitrary punishments left Song Pu uneasy, as though danger might descend at any moment.
Being angered by him was secondary; after all, a single glance at that face could soothe much of it. But this… this was something he could not let go.
At his words, the curve of Tantai Yi’s lips faded.
“I have said so much,” he said, voice cooling, “and Lord Song is still fixated on that matter?”
Song Pu sensed the tension beneath his tone and softened his own. “How could I not care? If Your Majesty wishes to speak from the heart, then I ought to do the same. If Your Majesty is willing to listen, I will dare to speak. If not… I can remain silent.”
Tantai Yi looked at him steadily.
Lord Song had “dared” many times before. He did not seem to fear him in the least, and that, too, was something Tantai Yi valued. Others would never speak so frankly before him, but Song Pu would.
From pleading for that dancer, to speaking up for Master Qian, to defending the young eunuch. Again and again, he had been the same.
From the very beginning, Tantai Yi had sensed that Song Pu had changed. No longer dull and timid, he had become vibrant without vulgarity, like surging waves, like wild spring growth, like a cool summer rain. Alive, refreshing, quietly stirring the heart.
Tantai Yi could not deny how much he favoured this version of him.
At twenty-two, he had never had a true confidant. Others might speculate about his thoughts, yet none had ever touched his heart. But with Song Pu, there were moments when his chest would tingle faintly, an unfamiliar, subtle sensation.
Lord Song was different.
He should not simply let him go.
If Song Pu insisted on dwelling on this matter, then so be it. They would speak of it.
With that thought, Tantai Yi drew a slow breath and said evenly, “Since Lord Song cannot let it go, then I shall explain it to you properly.”
Song Pu listened intently.
Yet the next moment, Tantai Yi reached out and pinched his cheek, saying with complete self-assurance, “I had intended to take you as a male consort. Not only did you refuse, you went and bathed naked with other men. If you were truly my consort, do you think I would have punished only Li Zongyi?”
Song Pu: “?”
Tantai Yi continued, entirely justified in his own mind, “If you ask me, since you bathed with others while I care for you so, then Li Zongyi and the rest might as well be adulterers. To have them all beaten to death would not be excessive. That I punished only Li Zongyi, was that not already lenient?”
Song Pu: “… ”
He was utterly dumbfounded. “Your Majesty…?” What sort of reasoning was that?
Tantai Yi went on, “What does Lord Song think?”
Song Pu found himself at a complete loss for words. He had never imagined Tantai Yi would say something like this. The point was, he was not his consort at all. There was no such relationship between them, so what talk was there of adulterers? Was Tantai Yi truly lecturing him on propriety?
Exasperation gave way instead to absurdity, and he almost laughed. “Does Your Majesty truly think so?”
Tantai Yi inclined his head. “I am magnanimous. How could I have been angered simply because you bathed far from my residence? It was your lack of propriety that warranted punishment. You may not understand, but Li Zongyi is a steady man. For him to be naked among others, he must have harboured improper intentions towards you. That I punished only him was already an act of grace.”
Song Pu: “… ”
With difficulty, he said, “How could they have harboured improper intentions? It was I who coaxed them into removing their clothes, standing naked before me.”
Tantai Yi narrowed his eyes at him, studying him for a long moment before speaking again.
“Have you not seen enough of my body?” he said coolly. “And yet you dared to entice others to undress for you? I had not realised Lord Song could be so… unrestrained.”
At this point, the emperor had fully transformed into a stern lecturer on propriety, leaving Song Pu utterly speechless.
“Your Majesty…”
He could not even finish his sentence. Instead, the sheer absurdity of it all overcame him, and he actually laughed.
Tantai Yi frowned slightly. “Why are you laughing? Do you find me amusing?”
