Chapter 64: I Cannot Bear To Let You Go

As Tantai Yi approached Song Pu, he slowed his steps slightly, his expression composed and indifferent. He gave Song Pu a critical once-over and said with restrained hauteur, “It has been several days. Lord Song appears rather thinner… and darker.”

Song Pu’s lips twitched. He had been eating well, sleeping well, and had barely seen the sun. How on earth had he grown thin and dark? This dog of an emperor truly had a talent for irritating people with his tongue. Still, he was used to it, and replied with patient courtesy, “Your Majesty, on the other hand, remains as graceful and imposing as ever, like a celestial descended to the mortal realm.”

Tantai Yi arched a brow, the corners of his lips lifting faintly. “I eat well and sleep well. Naturally, I remain as I was. As for Lord Song… could it be that you have lost your appetite, and thus grown thin and dark?”

A large question mark practically hovered over Song Pu’s head. He hesitated, then could not be bothered to argue, simply going along with it. “Indeed, I have had little appetite. For Your Majesty, even at such a distance, to still be concerned for me… I am truly moved.”

Hearing him admit it, Tantai Yi felt a flicker of satisfaction. Yet when he recalled that Song Pu still had not taken the initiative to return to his side, that satisfaction dimmed somewhat. Just as he was about to speak again, Song Pu softened his tone.

“I am prepared. Would Your Majesty like me to continue the story now?”

In truth, Song Pu had not deliberately left off at any particular point in Battle Through the Heavens, and Tantai Yi had already forgotten much of the plot. At present, he was not especially keen to hear it.

More than anything, he wanted to speak with Song Pu.

But the reason he had summoned Song Pu back to the palace had been precisely to hear the story. If he changed his mind too abruptly, it would make him seem overly concerned.

He had already lowered himself more than once. Three times was the limit. There should not be a fourth.

Thus, his expression unchanged, he said lightly, “We will continue at my Chunhe Palace.”

Once he returned to Chunhe Palace, Chang Jiangming and the others could not follow, as it was his private bedchamber. Only Song Pu had ever entered it before—an honour no one else possessed.

Song Pu gave this little thought. He had been there often enough to notice that Tantai Yi was far more at ease within his own chambers, his temperament slightly gentler.

He followed behind him. Looking up, he could still see Tantai Yi’s tall, elegant figure. His gaze dipped slightly, and the line of Tantai Yi’s broad shoulders tapering to a narrow waist came into view.

Tantai Yi’s beauty was striking, yet his build was neither slight nor heavy, but balanced at a point that was quietly, undeniably sensual. It was summer, and his clothing was light. From behind, the fabric stretched over the muscles of his shoulders and back without slack, outlining a strength that was restrained yet compelling.

Song Pu told himself he was merely appreciating, with no improper thoughts whatsoever, and so his gaze lingered rather freely.

Tantai Yi, keen of sense, quickly noticed.

He turned abruptly and caught him in the act.

Song Pu jumped, startled. Before he could speak, Tantai Yi asked, voice tinged with amusement, “Why has Lord Song been staring at me so intently?”

Song Pu rubbed his nose, slightly embarrassed, then answered with renewed sincerity, “Your Majesty’s bearing is both elegant and imposing. I simply became momentarily entranced.”

Today, Song Pu’s flattery seemed almost reactive… only surfacing once prompted. But it was still enough. Hearing it, Tantai Yi felt thoroughly pleased.

This Song Pu, who looked only at him and spoke so sweetly, was the Song Pu he was familiar with.

His mood lifted, and his smile spread unrestrained. “I have said before, if Lord Song envies me, you may join me in morning training. In time, you will become as I am.”

This was not the first time the topic had arisen. Song Pu replied with practised ease, “Your Majesty, I am dull-witted and would only waste your time. My constitution is as it is; no amount of training would improve it much.”

At this, the curve of Tantai Yi’s lips diminished slightly.

There was nothing wrong with the words themselves. But they felt distant.

A trace of displeasure stirred within him.

In the past, Song Pu’s manner of speaking had been lively and relaxed, and precisely because of that, his words had always sounded sincere.

It was not as though no one had ever flattered him. The former Grand Eunuch Cao Zhengyan had relied on precisely such tactics. But he had feared him too much. And, once it was discovered he had exchanged secret letters with Prince Gong, he had been beaten to death.

Cao Zhengyan’s rise had owed much to his tongue. It was a pity he had not lasted.

Song Pu was different.

Tantai Yi could kill Cao Zhengyan. He could not bring himself to harm Song Pu.

The words he had spoken at Qingquan Temple had been sincere. He had truly regarded Song Pu as a confidant. At that time, he had even thought that should Song Pu one day provoke him beyond endurance, he would still spare him for the sake of their past.

Though his tone had later changed, that had only been a warning. His feelings had not.

Song Pu was meant to be different. And yet now, Song Pu spoke to him with such distance.

It left him distinctly displeased.

The change showed plainly on his face.

Song Pu, ever sensitive to his moods, immediately noticed the cooling of his expression. He paused, running back through what he had just said. Had he spoken wrongly? Could it be because he had refused him?

Thinking this, and glancing again at that devastatingly beautiful face, his tone softened instinctively, coaxing as one might soothe a child.

“Your Majesty must not blame me. Your Majesty’s physique is flawless. No matter how I train, I could never reach your level. If I do not train, I can at least comfort myself by thinking it is due to laziness, and that one day, if I truly applied myself, I might achieve something similar. Even imagining it is satisfying. But if I were to train in earnest with Your Majesty, only to remain as I am… I would no longer be able to deceive myself.”

Hearing this, Tantai Yi realised he had been misunderstood.

His displeasure had not come from being refused, but from the change in Song Pu’s tone.

He had never been angered by such trivial refusals. What irked him was always the attitude behind them.

Still, hearing Song Pu soften again eased his mood somewhat.

He smiled faintly. “How could I blame you?”

When they arrived at Chunhe Palace, Cao Xi served fine tea and had sweet soup prepared in advance, ready to be brought at a moment’s notice.

Song Pu began his tale.

Once he started, he quickly became engaged, never perfunctory in such matters. Before long, Tantai Yi forgot his earlier displeasure and listened attentively.

This time, Song Pu had not come merely to pass the time, and so he should have been able to leave early. He deliberately chose a point to stop and feigned a sore throat.

As expected, Tantai Yi noticed at once and gestured for him to stop. “If your throat pains you, there is no need to continue.”

Song Pu’s resolve had never been particularly firm. He still felt a lingering reluctance to part, though only to that extent. He could not grasp Tantai Yi’s temperament, and so he held himself back.

Yet seeing him notice something so slight stirred him nonetheless.

Lowering his gaze, he said softly, “Thank you for Your Majesty’s consideration.”

Tantai Yi’s golden eyes rested on him. Hearing that softened tone, his gaze shifted slightly, and his voice gentled further. “When you are by my side… are you happy?”

Song Pu paused, then answered carefully, “Naturally, I am happy.”

Tantai Yi said quietly, “Then why do I always feel that you are not?”

Song Pu fell silent.

Tantai Yi did not press him. He merely called for Cao Xi to bring the sweet soup.

An uncomfortable stillness settled between them.

After a time, Tantai Yi picked up a memorial and said suddenly, “I once promised you two treasures. Do you still want them?”

Song Pu could not help himself, he swallowed reflexively. Yet his reason reminded him of their current distance, and he softened his tone. “I am unworthy of further reward. I ask that Your Majesty withdraw the offer.”

Tantai Yi’s voice remained gentle. “You do not even want that sapphire of mine?”

Song Pu’s eyes flew wide in disbelief.

Tantai Yi watched him intently. When their gazes met, a smile spread across his face, bright as the sun. “If Lord Song asks, I will grant it to you.”

Song Pu remembered clearly how much he cherished that sapphire. When reviewing memorials, he would often see Tantai Yi idly admiring it.

And now he meant to give it away?

His voice came out slightly dry. “That is Your Majesty’s treasured possession. How could it be bestowed so lightly upon me?”

Tantai Yi’s smile faded just a fraction. He studied Song Pu’s face until Song Pu lowered his eyes, unable to meet his gaze. Only then did he speak softly.

“Can it be that Lord Song still cannot see… that I am trying to please you?”

For Tantai Yi, such words were profoundly embarrassing. A faint flush spread across his pale, translucent face. After speaking, he pressed his lips together tightly, his golden eyes fixed on Song Pu, bright as burning sunlight.

Song Pu lifted his head, lips parting as though at a loss for words. A flush crept across his own cheeks.

That reaction emboldened Tantai Yi.

Suppressing his embarrassment, he chose, this time, to follow his heart.

“Lord Song shows not the slightest sign of reluctance to leave me,” he said quietly. “But I… cannot bear to part from you.”