The next day, Song Pu still had a splitting headache and felt rather unwell, though he did recall what had happened the night before.
He snorted inwardly, thinking: yesterday, with that dog emperor’s behaviour, even a fool could tell he meant to get him drunk. How could he possibly have gone in unprepared?
Fortunately, Tantai Yi had only ever seen him drink half a jug without getting drunk, so he likely had no clear sense of his limits. Still, Tantai Yi had been probing him all along, and Song Pu had not known how to respond, afraid of letting something slip. In the end, he could only bring up that incident from when they had shared a bed.
Naturally, he was not so delicate as to be chafed raw from a mere brush between the legs, but raising it was enough to embarrass the dog emperor, which served the purpose of stopping his questioning.
That he had managed to muddle through so easily left him greatly relieved, and his mood was correspondingly bright.
He called for Denglong to prepare hot water for a bath. As he shared a courtyard with Tantai Yi, the kitchen sent it over swiftly.
From outside the screen, Denglong asked, “Young Master, would you like this servant to scrub your back?”
Song Pu had always been self-reliant and refused. He stripped and sank into the tub, asking, “Denglong, has Doufu eaten this morning?”
“He has. This servant fed him boiled fish and chicken breast. His appetite is growing by the day. I was afraid he might overeat, so I did not give him too much.”
“He shouldn’t eat too much.”
After he had bathed, Denglong brought Doufu over. The little creature had grown more lively, its two white paws batting at the long strands of hair draped over Song Pu’s shoulders.
“I feel like cutting my hair,” Song Pu muttered.
Denglong started. “Young Master wishes to enter the monastery?”
Before Song Pu could answer, a familiar voice sounded from behind, “Lord Song intends to enter the monastery?”
Turning, Song Pu saw that it was indeed Tantai Yi. He had come without so much as knocking.
Before Song Pu could explain, Tantai Yi’s brows drew together slightly. “Why has Lord Song not even dressed properly?”
Song Pu always dressed for comfort. He had altered his undergarments into loose shorts and his top into a short shirt, cutting and stitching them himself. Great swathes of arms and legs were left bare, altogether a rather unsightly sight.
Denglong had long been used to his slovenly habits and, since he only dressed this way indoors, had not interfered. But now that the emperor had seen, he was thoroughly alarmed. “Young Master, your clothes are here.”
He was indeed holding them, though Song Pu habitually ignored them, only dressing properly at the last moment before going out.
Caught like this by Tantai Yi, Song Pu was mortified. “This minister is simply sensitive to the heat, hence… It is my fault. Might Your Majesty step aside for a moment, so that this minister may dress before attending you?”
He turned to retreat behind the screen, but Tantai Yi’s lips curved. “Lord Song’s present attire is most refreshing to behold. Quite novel. I permit it. There is no need to change.”
Song Pu: “…”
Still embarrassed, he asked, “Your Majesty truly finds it refreshing?”
“When have I ever spoken nonsense?”
As he spoke, his golden eyes swept slowly over Song Pu, a hint of meaning in his smile. “In the past, Lord Song wore loose brocade robes, and I never saw his form. Now that I do, it is pale and tender, like tofu that would crumble at a touch.”
He paused, then added, “A feast for the eyes.”
“…” Song Pu was struck speechless.
The Doufu in his arms, hearing its name, let out two soft, coquettish meows.
Song Pu had originally been happiest dressed as lightly as possible, spared the burden of heavy robes, but under Tantai Yi’s gaze, as though he were being watched for amusement, a chill crept up his spine. He longed to snatch up a robe and cover his offending flesh at once.
Yet the emperor had spoken, and he could only remain in this irreverent attire.
Recalling what he had just heard, Tantai Yi said, “I heard mention of entering the monastery. Lord Song has yet to answer me.”
“It was my servant’s misunderstanding. This minister only felt his hair was too long and troublesome to manage, and thought to cut it shorter. I have no intention of entering the monastery.”
At this, Tantai Yi’s expression grew stern. “The body and hair are gifts from one’s parents. How can Lord Song dare take a blade to them lightly?”
Sensing his displeasure, Song Pu hurriedly said, “This minister spoke without due thought. It is only that the weather is hot, and sweat makes it uncomfortable. I did not consider it properly…”
“You are a scholar. You should understand this principle better than I. Do not speak of such things again. If I hear it, I shall send Lord Song to enter the monastery.”
Cold sweat broke out on Song Pu’s brow. “Your Majesty’s instruction is correct. This minister will remember it and not repeat it.”
Seeing him subdued, Tantai Yi’s lips lifted in a smile. “There is no need for tension. I do not blame you. I merely thought Lord Song has an affinity with the Buddha, hence the remark.”
Song Pu was seldom praised. Even such words gladdened him, and he could not help asking, “Why does Your Majesty think so?”
Tantai Yi’s smile deepened. “Lord Song spoke of becoming a Joyful Buddha. Does Lord Song know what that is?”
A sense of foreboding rose within Song Pu, his smile faltering. “This minister… does not.”
“The Joyful Buddha belongs to Tantric Buddhism, associated with desire and love, where dual cultivation tempers desire with desire. It is not the simple ‘joy’ Lord Song imagines. To speak of it so readily without knowing its origin, it seems Lord Song truly does have an affinity with the Buddha. If Lord Song wishes to shave his head, I would not object to offering the Buddha another devoted follower.”
Song Pu: “…”
His smile collapsed. Given what he knew of Tantai Yi, he could not tell whether this was mockery or sincerity.
He stiffly changed the subject. “May I ask what brings Your Majesty here?”
Seeing the faint flush of embarrassment at the corners of his eyes, Tantai Yi was greatly pleased and magnanimously let the matter pass. “From next door, I heard movement and knew Lord Madam Songst be awake, so I came to summon you to tell me a story.”
But he had not even had breakfast.
“This minister resides but a wall away. If Your Majesty wished to summon me, a word to Eunuch Cao would have sufficed. How could Your Majesty trouble himself so?”
“After sobering, I wished to be the first to look upon Lord Song, to remember it well.”
As he spoke, his gaze flicked coolly towards Denglong, a faint smile on his lips. “It seems I have come late.”
Denglong immediately trembled.
Song Pu hastily said, “Your Majesty may rest assured. This minister has been bathing, and Denglong remained outside the screen and did not look. In that case, Your Majesty’s wish is fulfilled. As for this minister, compared to Chang Jiangming and the others, it is still Your Majesty, ever benevolent and peerless, whom I first behold each day. This minister is overjoyed, and only wishes to imprint Your Majesty’s august visage in his heart and treasure it for life.”
Tantai Yi’s chest rose faintly before he said with feeling, “I do enjoy hearing Lord Song speak thus. Since you speak so well, say more.”
Song Pu: “??”
Had the dog emperor come early just to hear flattery?
Though incredulous, Song Pu still gathered himself. “Whenever this minister beholds Your Majesty, I feel it must be the merit of a past life that I am able to serve at Your Majesty’s side in this one…”
Before he could finish, Tantai Yi cut him off. “There is no need to force yourself. I would rather hear your story. There is no urgency in declaring loyalty.”
Song Pu: “…”
Come closer. Let me see how big my fist is.
He smiled, revealing small, pointed canine teeth. “Since Your Majesty is so eager, let us move to the pavilion, and this minister will tell it at leisure.”
“Lord Song has yet to breakfast. I shall grant you half a quarter-hour. Come after you have eaten.”
With that, he departed, hands clasped behind his back.
Only after he had gone did Song Pu draw in a sharp breath and murmur with a smile, “His Majesty’s favour towards this minister is truly profound. I shall be grateful for a lifetime.”
Denglong swallowed. “Young Master, you should change quickly.”
Song Pu handed Doufu over and hurriedly shed his ragged garments, donning the snow-white robe Denglong had prepared.
“Why such white clothes today? If they get dirty, they will be troublesome to wash,” he muttered.
“In such a dreary green estate, Young Master in white appears pure and refined, elegant as jade. You will surely stand out among the others and win His Majesty’s favour.”
Song Pu shot him a glance. “That makes me sound like a consort vying for favour.”
Denglong scratched his head, smiling shyly. “This servant thinks it is not far off.”
“Far off by quite a margin,” Song Pu retorted.
There was no need for Denglong to fetch breakfast. A young eunuch from Tantai Yi’s side had already brought it over.
Such attentiveness moved Song Pu ever so slightly, though not enough to offset the earlier indignities.
After eating, he went out.
Before he could speak, Tantai Yi let out a soft chuckle. “Lord Song’s attire today makes him look even more like a small, tender piece of white tofu.”
Song Pu forced a smile. “Your Majesty jests. This minister is a man of seven chi. How could he be small and tender?”
Before he finished, Tantai Yi said with a smile, “Lord Song jests. At most, you are six and a half chi. How could you be seven?”
Author’s Note:
Ah-Pu: How should His Majesty the dog emperor be cooked to taste best? Urgent, waiting online!
Ah-Gou: Sit on me and move yourself. This is when your emperor tastes best 🙂
PS: One chi is 27 cm. Ah-Pu is now 175 cm. Ah-Gou’s estimation is still pretty accurate lol
