Song Pu’s hand, which had reached Tantai Yi’s chest, froze where it was. He raised his voice in disbelief. “This minister has been so impertinent towards Your Majesty. Can Your Majesty truly accept it?”
Tantai Yi considered it, then said, “Lord Song’s hand is very soft.”
Song Pu: “……”
A chill ran through him, the hairs along his spine prickling upright. No, he could not back down now. He swallowed and slowly moved his hand lower. “…Then what about this? Can Your Majesty accept it?”
Tantai Yi replied, “I allowed Lord Song to touch my abdomen before. Why should I not accept it?”
Song Pu choked. Gritting his teeth, he steeled himself and, through the thin fabric, grasped that “treasured blade”. His fingers felt weak with nerves, limp and without strength, nearly slipping off altogether. “…If this minister does this, can Your Majesty still accept it?”
Tantai Yi fell silent.
So did Song Pu.
Because he could feel, all too clearly, the process of that “blade” gradually awakening and sharpening.
The atmosphere turned instantly awkward.
It was as though Song Pu had been struck on the head, his mind clearing in an instant. Tantai Yi actually… actually… felt that way about him?
Now caught in an impossible position, he forced a smile. “Your Majesty is in vigorous health. It seems this minister misjudged.”
He was just about to withdraw his hand when Tantai Yi caught his wrist. His elegant, gentle voice had grown faintly hoarse. “Lord Song, you are not to let go.”
Song Pu: “……”
His scalp tingled. He stammered, “Your Majesty, this is… improper…”
Tantai Yi’s tone rose slightly. “If Lord Song lets go, I truly will be displeased.”
Song Pu’s mouth went dry, sweat seeping down his back. He did not speak again, and Tantai Yi also fell silent.
Forced into continuing, Song Pu felt completely dazed.
Afterwards, Tantai Yi took out a silk handkerchief and carefully wiped his hand clean. His voice was languid, tinged with a rich, husky quality that was particularly disarming. “Lord Song’s palm is very soft. I like it very much.”
Song Pu: “……”
Tantai Yi continued, “If this is the sort of closeness Lord Song meant, I find it agreeable as well. Does Lord Song have anything further to ask?”
Song Pu thought blankly that he hardly dared ask anything now. He had meant to make Tantai Yi retreat upon realising the implications, yet instead the man had advanced without hesitation.
If he said that when men do that sort of thing with each other, it’s done with the ‘back garden’, then although there was a fifty per cent chance it would disgust Tantai Yi. But judging from what had just happened, it’s more likely he would say “I’m okay with it,” and might even attempt it on the spot.
Just imagining it made Song Pu’s body tense faintly, his toes curling involuntarily.
Tantai Yi tossed aside the damp handkerchief and sighed. “I have kept myself restrained out of reverence for Buddha. Yet because of Lord Song, I have broken that restraint and released what I have held for months. Lord Madam Songst give me an explanation.”
“……”
This was not the first time Song Pu had witnessed the emperor’s talent for turning matters on their head. Forcing a smile, he said, “This minister was rash, daring to offend Your Majesty’s person and causing Your Majesty to break your restraint. I am willing to accept punishment.”
The words were not entirely sincere; a trace of grievance flickered beneath them. But Tantai Yi seemed not to notice. Though outwardly composed, the satisfaction in his tone was unmistakable, even carrying a hint of smugness.
“I regard Lord Song as a confidant. I have long seen Lord Song’s desire to be close to me. If I were to confer upon you the title of male consort, things would remain as they are. Aside from residing in the inner palace and accompanying me, nothing would truly change. What does Lord Song think?”
The lingering sensation on his hand made Song Pu’s mood churn. Outwardly, however, he remained composed. After a brief pause, he said earnestly, “This minister is unwilling—”
Before Tantai Yi could take offence, he hurried on, “This minister is, at least, a man of integrity. Though I hold Your Majesty in the highest esteem, to be confined within the inner palace like a woman is not my wish. I ask that Your Majesty think carefully and not act on impulse.”
He still found it difficult to believe that Tantai Yi could truly accept men. Not long ago, he had spoken of wanting a woman utterly obedient to him as his consort. How had that leapt, in the space of days, to this?
After some reluctant speculation, Song Pu concluded that Tantai Yi likely did not truly favour men. Rather, their closeness exceeded that of others, and Song Pu himself had indeed been unfailingly compliant, almost treating him as his sole authority. It happened to align rather neatly with his preferences, making him feel at ease, and thus giving rise to this absurd notion.
Song Pu wanted to dispel it. Had their positions been equal, he might have adopted a more contrary stance without hesitation. But given the disparity between them, he could only coax and placate, lest the emperor take offence. Should Tantai Yi grow truly angered, there would be no room left for sentiment.
His words were not especially pleasing to the ear. As expected, Tantai Yi grew faintly displeased, though his tone remained even. “Lord Song’s words are quite interesting. Could it be that, in Lord Song’s eyes, my palace is some sort of cage?”
Sweat broke out all over Song Pu. At last, he could not help but slip his feet out from beneath the covers. “…That is not what this minister meant. What I mean is that, for this minister to enter the inner palace as a consort would be inappropriate. To be regarded by Your Majesty as a confidant is already the greatest fortune of my life. But as the saying goes, distance lends enchantment. At this distance, Your Majesty naturally sees only my better qualities. Were I to remain by Your Majesty’s side day and night, you would soon discover my many faults and, in time, grow weary of me.”
“My heart towards Your Majesty is wholly sincere. I would not wish for such a thing to come to pass. Even the mere thought of it pains me deeply.”
As he spoke, he felt the moment could do with tears to match, and so tears came readily. His eyes dampened at once, his voice catching faintly as though choked with emotion.
He was always thick-skinned; he could endure being impolite to the Emperor, and naturally, he could also display his Oscar-worthy acting skills by shedding a few tears.
Tantai Yi naturally heard the change in his voice, and his tone softened at once. “Why must Lord Song take it so seriously? I only spoke in passing. Since you have your concerns, let us pretend I said nothing.”
After all, he had only recently declared otherwise; to reverse himself now would be somewhat undignified. If Lord Song did not desire the title, it might even be a relief.
With that thought, his tone grew gentler still. “However, Lord Song has broken my restraint and refused my offer. You must at least give me an explanation. Otherwise, I shall think on it day and night. What if I become unwell from it?”
Song Pu had not expected him to yield so easily, and was momentarily taken aback. Though relieved, he also felt a strange flicker of dissatisfaction. Why was he so easily persuaded?
Regardless of Tantai Yi’s true intentions, the very fact that he could make such a request secretly satisfied Song Pu’s vain male pride—that hidden sense of self-satisfaction, of ‘look at you, acting like such a dog of an emperor, and yet you still bow down to me, your subject, in my suit trousers,’ caused that little heart inside his chest to swell. But before he could even savour the feeling, Tantai Yi immediately backed out again.
Instead, he found himself oddly at a loss. Tantai Yi’s words seemed almost casual.
Letting out a breath, he lowered his voice. “What sort of explanation does Your Majesty require?”
Tantai Yi’s lips curved faintly, a trace of anticipation in his expression. “Lord Song’s body is soft as water. I would like…”
He paused. Song Pu felt his scalp prickle.
Sure enough, Tantai Yi continued, “I would like Lord Song to attend to me as before.”
Song Pu: “……”
He swallowed. “Does Your Majesty truly mean this?”
Tantai Yi sounded displeased. “Lord Song is unwilling?”
Song Pu felt himself being drawn in, unsure how to respond. After a long pause, sensing the growing pressure in the air, he stammered, “But this minister has already caused Your Majesty to break your restraint. How could I allow Your Majesty to continue in that vein and undermine your devotion?”
Tantai Yi replied evenly, “I observe restraint as I see fit. The Buddha is compassionate. Why would such matters concern him? Since it has already been broken, it may as well remain so. I do not mind it; Lord Song need not either.”
Oh, so it’s Schrödinger’s reverence for the Buddha—he’s devout whenever it suits him, is that it?
Song Pu was at a loss for words.
Tantai Yi took his hand again, his tone softening. “If it were anyone else who offended or refused me, they would not live. Like that dancer. She should have behaved herself, yet dared to lay hands on me. She was courting death. In all the world, I have only Lord Song as a confidant, and only Lord Song may approach me thus. I value Lord Song. You should understand my intentions.”
None of them had thought about his tyrannical deeds. But the moment he brought it up, Song Pu remembered, and his heart turned cold.
Mentioning the dancer business—was that a threat? If he didn’t do as he was told, would he have him killed?
Surely not? Song Pu’s heart was pounding violently. Hearing those words, he looked at Tantai Yi again, and any trace of moved affection he’d felt earlier plummeted straight to negative.
Tantai Yi, however, had no idea how much his words had ruined the mood. He didn’t even realise he’d said anything threatening. He was still lost in his own world. “I have been turning these thoughts over in private, but now that Lord Song has asked me to speak them aloud, saying them out loud has actually made me happy.”
Having said this, he suddenly turned over, facing Song Pu directly. His voice had grown slightly hoarse as he murmured, “I didn’t initially intend to have Lord Song attend to me this way. But Lord Song has kindled a fire on my body, so you must take responsibility and extinguish this heat.”
With that, he thrust forward a little, prodding Song Pu so hard his soul nearly left his body. Song Pu gave a startled cry:“Your Majesty, why again—?”
Tantai Yi’s tone carried an unmistakable note of pride. “It is no easy thing for me to maintain restraint. Lord Song, so slight and delicate, would not understand such hardship.”
