Chapter 95: I Wish To See

Song Pu had no idea that Prince Gong had spent the entire night reading by lamplight. After the initial shock and alarm wore off, he found the whole affair rather amusing.

He could understand Prince Gong’s fondness for “sister-in-law fiction”, but for him to press forward even when faced with a male “sister-in-law”… that took nerve.

Song Pu might be a sham straight, but Prince Gong ought to be genuinely straight. After all, in the original story, before meeting the female lead, he already had a whole courtyard of women and showed no inclination towards men. For him to suddenly bend like this was something Song Pu simply did not believe.

Thinking it through, Song Pu came to the conclusion that Prince Gong merely wished to secure him as quickly as possible.

With that in mind, Song Pu decided to ignore the invitation and promptly stood him up the following day.

Prince Gong waited at Wangyue Tower for two days without ever seeing Song Pu. When he returned to his residence and heard from the steward that Song Pu had sent a letter, he paused, his expression unreadable. After reading it, he crumpled the letter into a ball, then, after a moment, smoothed it out again and tucked it between the pages of a book he often read.

*

Song Pu was not at all worried about having stood Prince Gong up. With Tantai Yi as his backer, his courage had grown, and so had his arrogance.

Still, Tantai Yi could hardly grant him several days’ leave. Song Pu had only rested at home for three days before an imperial summons arrived, calling him back to the palace.

At such a time, Duke Song could not spare the thought to dote on him. He only knew that Tantai Yi had recently accomplished a number of practical reforms, and that the atmosphere at court was beginning to shift for the better. He felt genuine relief and, in turn, placed rather weighty expectations upon Song Pu.

Smiling, he said, “As expected of my son. I heard you were the one who persuaded His Majesty to attend the morning court. You are a great contributor to Liang. His Majesty will surely remember your merits. You must endure a little more hardship these next few days and continue to keep an eye on him.”

With that, he even insisted on personally escorting Song Pu to the palace.

Song Pu was somewhat distracted. Though he knew such a day might come, the closer it drew, the more uncomfortable he felt.

In his own understanding, he was not gay. His sense of himself as a man was perfectly clear. He might yield to pleasure, but the thought of being penetrated by another man, by Tantai Yi no less, made his sense of masculine pride recoil.

Even being glanced at in that way by Tantai Yi filled him with embarrassment and indignation. How could he possibly go further than that?

Of course, if he were the one on top, he would not have much of a problem. But with Tantai Yi’s temperament, there was no chance he would ever concede that position. That was likely his most immovable bottom line.

And there lay the conflict.

Song Pu was utterly captivated by Tantai Yi’s striking looks, often feeling light-headed just from gazing at his face. The flutter in his chest was undeniable, yet he still did not want to do such things with him.

Just thinking about Tantai Yi’s size was enough to fill him with a repeated sense of dread.

And as for the jade inserts, he would never use it in his life. That was his final line as a man.

Song Pu entered the palace and went to see Tantai Yi.

Tantai Yi was painting. As Song Pu stepped closer to look, Tantai Yi immediately covered the painting with a sheet of blank paper, preventing him from seeing it.

Song Pu paused. “What is Your Majesty painting? Why not let me have a look?”

Tantai Yi replied calmly, “I have not finished yet. When I have, I shall show it to you.”

Song Pu found his expression somewhat suspicious. “What exactly is Your Majesty painting? May I at least know?”

Tantai Yi curved his lips in a smile as he looked at him. “Naturally, I am painting Lord Song.”

Song Pu’s eyelid twitched. “Your Majesty is painting me?”

Tantai Yi nodded. “A portrait of you. It is not yet complete. Once finished, I shall present it to you. You may keep it as a family heirloom.”

Song Pu: “…”

Smiling, he said, “In that case, it would do no harm for me to take a look in advance. Your Majesty, do let me see.”

With that, he reached to lift the sheet of paper.

Tantai Yi pressed his hand down. “You had best not look. I fear you will not be able to bear it.”

The more he said so, the more Song Pu insisted. He cried out, “Your Majesty, you’re hurting me again!”

Tantai Yi immediately withdrew his hand. “I did not even use force. How have I hurt you again?”

Seizing the opportunity, Song Pu swiftly lifted the covering sheet.

At a single glance, his vision went black. A proper portrait? This was an indecent illustration, utterly indecent, and one that exposed everything that ought not be exposed.

At his ear, Tantai Yi added with some regret, “I had not yet completed this masterpiece, and Lord Song has already seen it. There goes the surprise.”

Song Pu’s fingers trembled, his cheeks burning all the way to the tips of his ears. Suppressing his embarrassment, he said, “Why would Your Majesty paint such a thing?”

Tantai Yi replied, “I recently found some inspiration. Lord Song has likely never seen himself from that angle. By painting it, you may come to understand yourself better.”

Song Pu forced out a smile. “I do not believe I have any need of that.”

After a pause, he continued, “To be frank, Your Majesty, I do not like this. It is one thing for Your Majesty to look, but why commit it to paper? Without my consent, no less, and even present it to me. Such frivolity… how am I to entrust myself to Your Majesty?”

Though Tantai Yi was often easy to humour, when his own interests were involved, he became markedly sharp.

“Lord Song speaks incorrectly. You are but one step away from becoming my Empress. You are not a woman, so why adhere to such tedious conventions? You have seen me entirely, and I said nothing of it. Yet I take a single look at you, and you are dissatisfied?”

He added with imperious certainty, “What is yours will one day be mine. If I look or paint it, what of it? If Lord Song objects, you may paint me in turn.”

Song Pu: “…”

He found himself at a loss for words, almost tempted to applaud. Feigning melancholy, he said, “But I do not like it.”

Tantai Yi frowned. “Why not?”

Song Pu covered his face. “Because I am embarrassed.”

He said it plainly, without any affected coyness.

In truth, his threshold for embarrassment was far lower than Tantai Yi’s. He could not even bring himself to look at himself, let alone at such explicit drawings. Though already twenty, he still felt like a novice, with neither romance nor experience to speak of. And now, before he had even fallen in love, he was already facing all this. It was simply too much.

Tantai Yi could see the flush on his face. Sunlight streamed through the window, gilding his cheeks and making the faint redness of his skin all the more vivid. Completely flushed, Song Pu looked especially endearing.

Tantai Yi’s thoughts wandered, his voice growing softer. “Why be embarrassed? In any case, I shall have my way eventually. Better to grow accustomed sooner rather than later.”

He added, “If you truly dislike it, I shall not give it to you. I will keep it for myself.”

Song Pu said nothing further.

Tantai Yi replaced the sheet of paper and asked, “Have you been using the jade inserts these past few days?”

Song Pu paused. “I have been unwell, so I stopped for a few days.”

At once, Tantai Yi’s expression darkened, his tone cooling. “They must be used daily. Miss even a day, and it is said one reverts to the original state. All your prior effort would be wasted.”

As he spoke, he lifted his gaze, eyes flickering.

Song Pu’s heart gave a small jump, and he instinctively avoided his gaze.

Sure enough, Tantai Yi continued, “When I looked before, you did not seem as though you had been using them…”

Suspicion crept into his voice. “Tell me truthfully. Was it only these past few days you stopped?”

Song Pu: “…”

He was at a loss. How could the man discern so much from a single glance?

Forcing a smile, he said, “Naturally, it has only been these past few days.”

Tantai Yi’s throat moved slightly as he asked with composed restraint, “And before that?”

A vein throbbed at Song Pu’s temple. Through gritted teeth, he replied, “Before that… I did.”

Tantai Yi said, “Do not deceive me. You truly did?”

Song Pu felt as though he were being interrogated over something indecent and snapped back, “If Your Majesty does not trust me, why ask? You might as well have someone watch me.”

Tantai Yi frowned, displeased. “What do you mean by that? Am I such a person?”

Song Pu inwardly marvelled at his audacity. The man had already done exactly that more than once.

Unaware of this, Tantai Yi continued calmly, “I merely asked in passing. Given your reaction, it is only natural I should be suspicious. You know how taxing court has been of late. If you truly cared, you would not dare deceive me.”

Song Pu fell silent, guilt stirring despite himself. Tantai Yi had indeed been performing well of late, already taking on the bearing of a ruler, while he himself…

No, it was not that he had done nothing. He had sacrificed plenty as well. That night alone had cost him dearly in terms of dignity. He had never imagined he would one day attend to another man.

He had paid a price too. Suppressing that flicker of guilt, he said, “Your Majesty may rest assured. I would not dare deceive you.”

Tantai Yi studied him for a long moment. Then, as though something crossed his mind, his nose began to bleed again.

Song Pu stared, startled. Before he could speak, Tantai Yi had already composed himself. Drawing out a silk handkerchief, he wiped away the blood and said coolly, “My internal heat has been excessive of late.”

He summoned Cao Xi and instructed him to have the kitchens prepare cooling soups.

Then he turned back to Song Pu and said, “I have yet to see Lord Song use the jade inserts. I would like to watch.”