Gu Yun leaned against the wall of the carriage. With every jolt and sway, the weight resting on his shoulder became all the more noticeable.
He had no idea how the bloody dog had ended up asleep against his shoulder. Yet somehow, there he was.
Warmth radiated from Chao Yan’s body. Gu Yun turned his head to look at his face, but after a single glance, his attention drifted upwards.
A head of jet-black hair. Slightly coarse, long and silky.
He rubbed his fingertips together. In the end, he couldn’t resist.
His hand crept out.
…
As they neared the inner city, Chao Yan woke.
Gu Yun pushed him upright. “You’ve made my shoulder go numb.”
“My apologies.”
The words left Chao Yan’s mouth immediately. Then he reached up and touched his eyes before letting out a quiet laugh to himself.
Massaging his shoulder, Gu Yun watched the scene in confusion. His gaze drifted involuntarily towards the top of Chao Yan’s head.
Has he discovered it?
Before he could think further, Chao Yan placed a hand on his shoulder.
Gu Yun’s fingers brushed against his and he startled, instinctively curling them back. Chao Yan gently moved his hand aside and effortlessly took over, kneading the numb muscles with just the right amount of pressure.
“You’ve worked hard.”
Gu Yun secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
False alarm.
He had known it. His sneaky little head-patting session had been so light there was no way Chao Yan could have noticed.
“It wasn’t that hard,” he murmured.
He shifted slightly. “It’s fine now. The numbness has gone.”
Chao Yan acknowledged this and leaned back against the carriage wall. “You’re the first person willing to let me sleep leaning against them.”
Gu Yun looked at him in surprise.
“What?” Chao Yan said. “You don’t believe me?”
Gu Yun hesitated.
Yan Zhao had told him about Chao Yan’s past, so he was only half-convinced by the statement. Other people had treated him poorly, certainly, but had Consort Shu done the same?
Still, since Chao Yan had asked the question, the proper response was not disbelief but comfort.
Realising this with his usual sensitivity, Gu Yun carefully began arranging his words. Unfortunately, Chao Yan gave him no opportunity to do so.
Lost in his memories, he continued:
“My birth mother was originally a palace maid at one of the imperial residences. She had no family background and no living parents. After the Emperor took a fancy to her, he bestowed upon her the rank of Beauty. Not long afterwards, she became pregnant with me. Her health was poor to begin with. After giving birth, she caught a chill and died.
Entrusted by my mother, the Empress took me in. She wanted me to become a capable supporter of the former Crown Prince, so she raised me with strict discipline.
At that time, the Emperor returned after being captured in war. He believed the former Crown Prince had abandoned him to his fate and therefore targeted him at every turn. The Empress was overwhelmed by her own troubles. Added to that, I had been born during the period of the Emperor’s captivity, and he could not bear the sight of me.
So she sent me away to the imperial residence where my mother had once served. That was where I grew up.
Later, Consort Shu happened to witness me being bullied. Out of pity, she took me in. She believed I was a very good child. I wasn’t.
I simply knew that if I exposed my true nature, she would abandon me. I was merely good at pretending. That incident when she saw me being bullied was deliberate. I arranged it myself. Because I believed I should stand before everyone in glory.
Our mother-son relationship was extremely fragile. It’s somewhat better now because we’ve become allies. She has things she wants. I have things I want. We help one another.
Later, disaster struck her family, and I was sent to be raised by the Empress Dowager. She never liked me. She genuinely believed I would bring misfortune upon Great Xuan.”
Chao Yan shrugged, a trace of self-mockery in his expression. “So when the Emperor spoke of building the Ascension Tower, I wasn’t surprised in the slightest.”
“Your Highness…” Gu Yun stopped, his throat tight.
Chao Yan turned and fixed him with an unwavering stare. Under that gaze, Gu Yun felt inexplicably uneasy.
“What is it?” Chao Yan caught hold of his sleeve.
Lowering his voice, he spoke with unmistakable anticipation.
“A-Yun… you’ll never abandon me, will you?”
Gu Yun looked away.
…
The carriage stopped within the inner city.
Chao Yan immediately returned to his usual self. After getting down from the carriage, he took both the donkey rider and the donkey away with him.
Resting his chin in one hand, Gu Yun thought over Chao Yan’s words.
After a while, goosebumps rose across his skin. He shivered.
Then it felt as though his entire body had been flooded with water, leaving even his nerve endings soft and sluggish. He felt awful.
Chao Yan…
What was all that talk about abandoning him?
Was he really that starved of affection?
True, he had no family. As far as Gu Yun was concerned, the Emperor might as well have been dead. Yet Chao Yan still had countless loyal followers around him.
Surrounded by so many people, why was he still lacking affection?
Then Gu Yun realised.
His status.
Being born into the imperial family meant he could never receive truly unconditional feelings. People were loyal to him, but they also feared him. Between those two things lay an insurmountable gulf.
Gu Yun himself was no exception.
In circumstances like these, what Chao Yan needed was not him. He needed a psychologist.
There were clearly some unhealthy personality traits developing there. Rather pitiful. Then again, Gu Yun considered himself rather pitiful too.
He would never see his family again.
No. He still had Xu Jingzhou. They were family in all but name.
Why was he comparing misfortunes with Chao Yan? If his mother ever heard this, she would probably ask whether he had lost his mind.
Resting his chin in his hand, Gu Yun gradually fell silent. He could clearly feel himself growing distressed on behalf of a man who held power over the lives and deaths of others. His heart felt heavy.
That frightened him. Emotionally speaking, he had received far more love and far better love than Chao Yan ever had. Yet in terms of status and circumstances, he was nowhere near Chao Yan’s position.
So why was he feeling sorry for him?
Everyone knew that pitying a powerful man was liable to end with oneself being devoured whole, bones and all. He even suspected Chao Yan had deliberately said those things to stir feelings in him and bind him more tightly to his side.
After all, why wouldn’t he?
He could gain both a beauty and a source of valuable expertise. There was nothing immoral about it. Just a touch greedy.
Crafty bloody dog.
Fortunately, he was a man. And fortunately, his head was still screwed on straight.
…
Chao Yan felt a faint discomfort in his ear. Reaching up to touch it, he found it slightly warm.
According to popular belief, that meant someone was talking about him behind his back.
Rubbing his fingers together, he glanced towards the Eastern Palace and the corner of his mouth lifted into the faintest hint of a smile.
“Your Highness?” Li Lan called softly.
Chao Yan composed himself and turned down another street before arriving at the Meng residence.
He had come to pay a visit.
Chancellor Meng had just finished dealing with official matters and was preparing to retire for the night when news of Chao Yan’s arrival reached him. He promptly dressed himself properly and came out to receive him.
Chao Yan had no desire to trouble an elderly man and smiled.
“I’ve come to see San-lang. I brought something for him. Chancellor Meng still has important duties tomorrow, so please don’t concern yourself with me. You should rest.”
Only after repeated persuasion did Chancellor Meng finally agree.
Meng Zhao’s elder brother, Meng Ji, had already sent people to summon him. Unfortunately, Meng Zhao was still at the Eastern Palace.
“I’m afraid Your Highness will have to wait a little while.”
“That’s quite all right.”
…
After thoroughly cursing Chao Yan in his heart, Gu Yun’s carriage finally arrived at Wenhua Gate.
He stepped down and entered the Eastern Palace complex, slipping around the crowds as he headed towards the side hall of Chunhe Hall.
Owing to their positions, Zhou Si and Zhou Wei escorted him only as far as the imperial city before departing. In their place, two of Chao Yan’s personal guards accompanied him.
He was already planning to sleep in and not wake until noon the following day. Yet as he passed through the gardens, he unexpectedly ran into Meng Zhao.
Meng Zhao had come to the Eastern Palace and waited for a long time without seeing the Crown Prince, despite the fact that the latter had already left the Emperor’s Western Garden.
He questioned eunuchs and officials alike, but every one of them claimed not to know where the Crown Prince had gone and merely asked him to wait patiently.
Was the Crown Prince avoiding him?
Irritated and restless, Meng Zhao eventually rose to take his leave. Not wishing others to notice his mood, he asked a eunuch to guide him out of the Eastern Palace along a secluded route.
Everyone knew that the Crown Prince and Meng Zhao enjoyed a good relationship, so the request was readily granted. Who could have anticipated…
The eunuch was one of the insiders and reacted instantly. Smiling, he said: “Your Grace, was your outing beyond the palace enjoyable?”
Gu Yun paused for only an instant. His mind worked quickly and he immediately followed the eunuch’s lead. Nodding lightly, he replied: “Very enjoyable. I even bought some interesting things. Tomorrow I’ll have someone bring them back so everyone can share in the fun.”
The eunuch smiled, offering thanks and flattery in equal measure.
Gu Yun then turned towards Meng Zhao with a smile. “Vice Minister Meng, we meet again.”
Meng Zhao had already given him a thorough once-over. Dressed in eunuch’s clothing, Gu Yun looked far healthier and more energetic than before.
“Consort Gu,” he said gently, “the world outside the palace is rather chaotic. It would be wiser not to venture out too often.”
Following Princess Hanzhu’s earlier misunderstanding regarding Gu Yun’s departure from the Eastern Palace, Meng Zhao no longer believed it had been a misunderstanding at all.
Anyone with keen eyes and ears had heard of the affair, especially after Princess Hanzhu had taken the matter all the way to the Emperor himself. Even so, Meng Zhao did not believe Gu Yun had left the palace without permission.
Since even the eunuchs knew he had gone out, the Crown Prince must have authorised it. Chao Yan’s favour towards Gu Yun was known throughout the entire capital.
“Thank you for the reminder, Vice Minister Meng,” Gu Yun replied. “I understand.”
Meng Zhao said nothing more, gave a slight nod, and turned to leave.
Seeing this, Gu Yun hurried back to the side hall of Chunhe Palace. Fortunately, he did not encounter anyone this time.
Gu Yun dismissed his personal guards, greeted Zhang Zhangshe, and rested for a short while. Then, carrying his clothes, he went to bathe. Once everything was done, he lay down and fell asleep.
That sleep was far from peaceful. He dreamed that Chao Yan had turned into a border collie. Just as he reached out to stroke the dog’s head and was about to say, “Pay up, pay up your debt!”
The dog’s eyes flicked slyly, and it transformed into a large black-and-white snake that coiled around him in a sinister manner, saying he would abandon him, that he was furious, and would swallow him whole.
Terrified, Gu Yun scrambled about on the ground, nearly in tears. “I didn’t mean to abandon you!!!!!”
“You don’t care about me at all, and you still say you’re not going to abandon me?”
“I do care, I care a lot! I just think those in power are cold-hearted, I don’t dare to care!”
“Liar!”
“I’m not lying!”
“You are!”
“I’m not!”
After this utterly meaningless exchange, Gu Yun jolted awake. Zhang Zhangshe came in with a lamp, asking worriedly whether he had had a nightmare.
With a blank stare, Gu Yun said, “That wasn’t a nightmare. That was a terrible premonition of the future.”
Zhang Zhangshe did not understand what he meant, but brought him water and said, “Please drink some water.”
…
Meanwhile, after leaving the Eastern Palace, Meng Zhao became increasingly agitated.
His temples throbbed sharply. In the carriage, he changed positions several times, lifted the curtain, and looked out at the rain-washed streets of the inner city.
Curfew had already fallen, and apart from the powerful or those carrying permits, no one was moving about.
Rustling sounds came from the shopfronts on both sides of the street. Those living within the shops were shutting up and tidying away their things. An endless silence spread like water through the streets.
Meng Zhao pressed his temples and rubbed them lightly. A strong sense of incongruity churned within him, and suddenly his thoughts drifted to Gu Yun.
Was that person truly leaving the palace just for leisure?
From what he had observed on the journey from Zhuyang County, this was someone extremely well-behaved and sensible. Logically speaking, he should not have knowingly violated palace rules forbidding casual exit, simply to satisfy personal desires, disregarding the Crown Prince.
The Crown Prince? Had the Crown Prince truly been so blinded by affection?
The more Meng Zhao thought, the more he felt the situation was wrapped in fog. Before he could make sense of it, he arrived home.
A rather useless elder brother rushed out and told him that the Crown Prince had come, and was here to see him.
Upon hearing this, Meng Zhao was irritated. “Since you knew I had gone to the Eastern Palace, why did you not send someone to find me at home?”
The man replied, “Of course we sent someone. The servant must have just missed you on the way. I’ll reprimand him when he returns. It didn’t delay anything, did it? Go on, His Highness is waiting for you!”
Seeing his brother’s carefree attitude, Meng Zhao almost laughed in exasperation. He closed his eyes briefly, forced down his anger, straightened his clothes, and went to meet the Crown Prince.
After the formalities, Meng Zhao asked what business Chao Yan had with him.
Chao Yan asked how the case concerning the substitution of death row prisoners was progressing.
Meng Zhao gave a bitter smile. “It’s stalled.”
He explained the reasons, and then briefly mentioned his visit to the Eastern Palace to find Chao Yan. Smiling, Chao Yan said, “I brought someone with me. Would you like to see him?”
Meng Zhao instinctively asked, “Who?”
Chao Yan clapped his hands, and a large sack was brought forward. When it was opened, a body was revealed.
Meng Zhao recognised him at a glance as a relative of the Princess of Yan. However, the man was already dead. Upon closer inspection, he had been strangled. When his clothing was pulled aside, there were both old and new wounds across his body, the older ones more severe than the fresh ones.
