Tantai Yi was exceptionally gifted. Even just looking at him, he felt it was highly unlikely. Lord Song was delicate in appearance, with full, red lips, yet they were so small. A few fingers would be enough to fill his mouth. How could he possibly accommodate him?
Tantai Yi frowned. Was it simply too difficult for men to do such things?
His mind was full of indecent thoughts, though Song Pu knew nothing of this. Hearing him mention his mouth, he merely assumed Tantai Yi was overly fond of his flattery, and thus had said as much, which only deepened his impression of just how insufferably self-satisfied Tantai Yi could be.
But in all the world, who else would bend into a coil over flattery alone? Looking back a few hundred years or forward a few hundred more, perhaps only Tantai Yi, this singular oddity, could manage it.
Thinking this, Song Pu’s gaze inevitably dropped to the hands with which Tantai Yi held his own. If he had not thought much of it before, now, looking again, he suddenly wondered whether this habit of casually touching his hands was something a proper straight man would do.
Although Tantai Yi was more beautiful than many women, Song Pu still could not help breaking out in goosebumps. “Your Majesty… could you release me?”
Tantai Yi gently squeezed his soft palm. Lifting his thin eyelids, his golden eyes shone brightly as he looked at Song Pu’s face. “I have not even used any force, yet Lord Song cannot bear it?”
“…”
It was not pain, but fear. He feared that if Tantai Yi kept holding his hand like this, he might somehow end up dragging him onto the bed.
At that point, any man would instinctively know what to do. Song Pu did not dare imagine how disastrous that scene would be.
Born in the modern world, he had seen and heard much. He knew perfectly well what it meant for men to be together. If Tantai Yi truly insisted on plucking this straight and tender flower, he likely would not be able to refuse.
Recalling Tantai Yi’s size alone made his toes curl against the ground, his heart beginning to race. If it truly came to that, he would probably die on the dragon bed, a fate even more dreadful and humiliating than the dismemberment by five horses in the original story.
And yet Tantai Yi, with a perfectly serious expression, asked, “Lord Song has seen and heard much, and read many romantic tales, yet does not know how men lie together?”
At this point, Song Pu had completely forgotten their earlier quarrels. His entire focus was on escaping danger. Forcing a smile, he said, “This subject does not favour the male form, so how would I know how men lie together? However, judging from all I have learned, it should not be possible. After all, the harmony of yin and yang is the proper order of the world.”
Hearing this, Tantai Yi felt somewhat disappointed. He had rather wanted to try with Lord Song, yet restrained himself out of a faint sense of hesitation.
Song Pu had no idea how close he had come to disaster, only that he had somehow muddled through for now.
But things could not continue like this. If Tantai Yi truly harboured such intentions towards him, then letting him return home had been nothing more than empty talk. The unsealed imperial edict alone made it clear he had no intention of letting him go.
Yet sitting and waiting for death was not Song Pu’s way. He would have to think of something.
After returning home from the palace, Song Pu immediately had Denglong deliver a letter to Chang Jiangming. Before long, Chang Jiangming hurried over, a large bundle tucked under his arm, filled with his treasured collection. “Ah-Pu, why do you suddenly want to look at these?”
Song Pu did not bother explaining and simply picked up Chang Jiangming’s collection to browse. Seeing his rough handling, Chang Jiangming winced. “Careful! The Laughing Hermit has not produced any erotic paintings in six years. These are all rare originals!”
The Laughing Hermit’s work was surprisingly refined. As soon as Song Pu opened one, he was drawn in. The lines were graceful, the proportions true to the human form. The women were shapely, the men strong and well-built. The joining of bodies was clearly depicted, without concealment, yet carried a certain artistic charm.
He could not help praising, “This is the work of a true master. If you had such things, why did you always give me those crude sketches before?”
Chang Jiangming inhaled sharply. “If you had not said today that you would die without seeing something stimulating, I would never have brought these out. I would not even lend them to my brother. If I sold them, they would fetch five hundred taels of silver. That is how valuable they are.”
Song Pu’s hand trembled slightly. “Five hundred taels of silver?”
Chang Jiangming nodded. “All painted by the Laughing Hermit six years ago. He has since disappeared without a trace. There are no new works on the market, so their value has only risen. By now, they are priceless and impossible to find.”
At this, he cast Song Pu a wary glance. “I will sit here and watch you read. You are not taking this away.”
Song Pu said, “Lend it to me first. I will take it to His Majesty for his appraisal.”
The moment the Emperor was mentioned, Chang Jiangming fell silent. After a pause, he said, “Why are you worrying about His Majesty? The palace’s erotic paintings are even better than the Laughing Hermit’s. If you can say a few words before His Majesty, borrowing from him would be far easier than borrowing from me.”
Song Pu was surprised. “How do you know the palace’s paintings are better?”
To him, the Laughing Hermit’s style already closely resembled modern illustration. Could the palace works truly surpass that?
Chang Jiangming said, “Of course. The palace has imperial painters, all masters of their craft. Some even painted intimate scenes of Emperor Mu and his consorts. If you ask His Majesty, you might even obtain Emperor Mu’s collection.”
Emperor Mu was an earlier ruler of the Liang dynasty, Tantai Yi’s uncle. Compared to the late Emperor and Tantai Yi, he had been rather indulgent, though not incompetent in governance. Song Pu, inheriting the original Song Pu’s memories, had some impression of him, and the thought of obtaining his erotic paintings made him shudder instinctively.
At times, the Liang dynasty was so conservative it was astonishing. At others, it was so open it defied belief. What sort of peculiar taste was it to make oneself the subject of such paintings for future generations to admire?
Song Pu suddenly lost interest. The paintings in his hands no longer held any appeal.
Even so, he borrowed the Laughing Hermit’s works and other pieces from Chang Jiangming, intending to take them into the palace the next day and show them to Tantai Yi, hoping to divert his interest towards women instead.
Meanwhile, after Song Pu left, Tantai Yi continued to ponder the matter.
The old eunuch’s voice sounded behind him. “What troubles Your Majesty?”
Tantai Yi noticed his arrival and frowned. “Uncle Qin, you should announce yourself first.”
The old eunuch fell silent for a moment before asking, “Has Your Majesty reconciled with the Song family boy?”
Tantai Yi said, “I have never been estranged from Lord Song. What talk is there of reconciliation?”
The eunuch was at a loss for words.
“Then why is Your Majesty troubled?” he asked.
Tantai Yi folded his hands neatly on the desk, composed. “Even if I told you, Uncle Qin, you would not understand.”
The eunuch replied, “In my youth, I was a warrior who captivated countless men and women on the grasslands. How could I not understand Your Majesty’s thoughts?”
Tantai Yi paused, then turned to look at him. “Uncle Qin, in your youth, there were men who admired you?”
The eunuch smiled faintly. “On the grasslands, strength commands respect. So long as one is strong enough, even men will willingly submit. I won the Vulture War three years in a row. Men and women alike were fond of me. Some men even wished to spend a night with me.”
Tantai Yi’s eyes lit up. Leaning back slightly, he asked, “Then Uncle Qin… have you lain with men?”
The eunuch paused. “Is Your Majesty curious?”
Tantai Yi replied with restraint, “I am merely asking. I know nothing of your past. Had you not mentioned it today, I would not even know of your victories.”
He was well acquainted with the customs of the northern lands, having been raised by the Grand Princess of the north. The Vulture War was a brutal trial held annually, testing endurance, strength, intelligence, and will. To win it three times was proof of extraordinary ability.
Tantai Yi found himself studying the old eunuch again.
Though they were alone, the eunuch still maintained his hunched, aged appearance. Yet Tantai Yi remembered him in his youth as tall, handsome, and in his prime. Clearly, he had concealed his true form.
Unperturbed, the eunuch said, “That is all in the past. I am old now, and there is little worth speaking of. If Your Majesty is curious, I may tell you another time.”
Seeing he still had not answered, Tantai Yi narrowed his eyes. “Uncle Qin has yet to answer me.”
The eunuch said, “Your Majesty asks how men lie together. Though I have not done so, I understand it is no different from with women. If Your Majesty is curious, I can find some illustrated manuals.”
Tantai Yi felt a trace of embarrassment, though he kept a composed expression. “I was only asking. There is no need to take it seriously.”
The eunuch smiled faintly. “Does Your Majesty intend to lie with the Song boy? If so, preparation is needed. He is rather small and may not withstand Your Majesty’s favour.”
How was it that his thoughts were so transparent before Uncle Qin?
Feeling somewhat embarrassed, Tantai Yi said coldly, “I was merely curious. Why involve Lord Song? I have no such intention.”
The eunuch fell silent.
After a while, Tantai Yi added, “I am somewhat curious. Since Uncle Qin is so eager to enlighten me, I would not wish to disappoint him. Go and find those manuals quickly. If you delay, I may lose interest.”
