When Song Pu left the palace, he was already half-drunk, though thankfully not so drunk that he made a spectacle of himself. He returned home carrying the fine wine bestowed by Tantai Yi, along with a very pretty little kitten.
“Qingmei… hic… help me take care of my son,” Song Pu said, handing the cage with the kitten inside to the maid Qingmei. His cheeks were flushed, and he nearly stumbled as he walked.
Qingmei hurriedly took the cage. Hearing what he said, she simply assumed he was spouting drunken nonsense.
Word had already been sent ahead to the Duke’s residence that he would be dining in the palace. Since it was the first time, the whole household was curious about it. Even Duke Song, who was normally very busy, came personally to check on him.
“It’s really nothing,” Song Pu said, letting out a hiccup. He lifted his sleeve and sniffed himself. Thankfully he didn’t smell too terrible.
Qingmei brought him a cup of hangover tea. Song Pu took a few sips and hiccupped several more times.
The Duke frowned in puzzlement. “Why did His Majesty keep you for dinner? You don’t know?”
Song Pu replied solemnly, “Perhaps he likes me too much, so he asked me to stay.”
The Duke could also smell the alcohol on him and frowned more deeply. “How much did you drink?”
Song Pu grumbled, “Not much. His Majesty told me to drink, so I drank. I didn’t want to. I’m terrible with alcohol. Absolutely dreadful. If I say something foolish and anger His Majesty, he’ll chop off my head.”
“You say you didn’t drink much?” the Duke said. “You’re already talking nonsense. Your tolerance is awful, yet you still dared to drink with the emperor.”
Song Pu waved a hand vaguely. “Ah, I can’t hear anything. I want to bathe. I want to sleep.”
The Duke could only sigh helplessly. He told Qingmei to look after Song Pu properly. Then he heard a faint meowing sound and asked about it.
Song Pu grinned. “His Majesty gave it to me. Hehe.”
The Duke’s eyes widened in surprise, and he looked at Song Pu as though seeing him for the first time.
“…Go get some sleep,” he said at last. “When you’re sober, we’ll have a proper talk.”
Song Pu hummed in agreement while tugging off his clothes. “Father, I’m going to bathe now. You should leave. Quickly.”
The Duke could only shake his head and step out. Even after he left, he could hear his youngest son’s soft, slightly slurred voice inside:
“Qingmei, I can wash myself! I don’t need you to help. Go out, go out! Aren’t you embarrassed? I am!”
The Duke shook his head again and left.
…
When Song Pu woke the next morning, his head was still a little dizzy, but fortunately he remembered everything from the night before. After thinking it through carefully, he was certain he hadn’t said anything inappropriate in front of the damned emperor, which eased his mind considerably.
Qingmei came in with a basin of water for him to wash his face.
Song Pu got up, dressed, washed, and brushed his teeth. When he had first arrived in this world, he had found the practice of brushing teeth with willow twigs unbearable, so he had made his own toothbrush using pig bristles. It worked surprisingly well.
“Qingmei, where’s my son?” Song Pu asked after finishing his morning wash.
Qingmei froze. “Young Master… when did you get a son?”
Song Pu scratched his head. “…Where’s the cat I brought back yesterday?”
Qingmei broke into a smile. She had never seen such a beautiful cat before and had taken a liking to it immediately. Even without special instructions, she had taken very good care of it.
“It’s in the side room,” she said. “I made a little nest for it. It’s sleeping there now.”
“I’ll go have a look.”
In the side room he quickly spotted the kitten curled up asleep in its tiny nest. It was still very small and its fur hadn’t fully grown in yet, but it was already adorable.
Whatever else could be said about the dog emperor, he had certainly chosen the perfect gift for Song Pu.
Song Pu crouched down, gently squeezing the kitten’s soft paws. “Come to think of it, I haven’t given you a name yet. Let’s see… how about Er Gou*?”
(*TN: er = second, gou = dog)
He immediately shook his head. “No, that’s terrible. If His Majesty asks me about it later I’d be too embarrassed to say it.”
After thinking for a while, he finally settled on a name. Grinning, he squeezed the kitten’s paws again. “Doufu* Beauty!”
(*TN: tofu, bean curd)
His fussing woke the kitten. It yawned, revealing its lovely mismatched eyes, and gave a soft little meow.
“Hey! I heard that. You called me ‘Daddy’, didn’t you? Good boy. Let Daddy give you a kiss.”
Song Pu picked the kitten up and planted a loud kiss on its forehead. Just then Qingmei walked in and saw the scene.
Her eyes widened. “Young Master! Why are you kissing the cat? It hasn’t even had a bath yet. It’s filthy!”
Although people in this era did keep pets, cats were mainly used for catching mice. Even when they were treated as pets, kissing them was considered a bit excessive.
Song Pu set the kitten down awkwardly. “It’s not dirty. Besides, it’s still little. Bathing it might make it sick.”
“Even so, Young Master shouldn’t kiss it,” Qingmei insisted. “What if you get ill?”
Song Pu didn’t argue. Qingmei was about the same age as him, delicate and gentle by nature. He got along with her very comfortably and respected her quite a bit.
When he had first transmigrated here, his room had been full of pretty girls. There were eight personal maids alone, and if you included the rougher servants who swept and cleaned outside, more than ten young women had been assigned to serve him.
Several of the prettier ones had clearly been trying to climb into his bed.
It had given Song Pu an enormous headache. It had taken him quite a bit of effort to send them all away, leaving only Qingmei and a few rough servants.
“Young Master, breakfast is ready,” Qingmei said.
Song Pu responded and brought Doufu with him. He even peeled an egg personally and fed it to the kitten.
Qingmei watched in silence. As a servant she could hardly object, so she simply let him be.
…
Today happened to be a rest day, so Song Pu didn’t need to go to the palace. He was in an excellent mood.
He even went out of his way to commission a craftsman to make a nameplate for Doufu to wear around its neck. It was engraved with the words “Doufu of the Duke’s Residence.”
After looking at it, however, Song Pu felt it didn’t sufficiently emphasise Doufu’s noble status.
So he had the craftsman add four more characters: “Imperial Bestowed Cat.”
The craftsman was highly skilled, and Song Pu spared no expense. The tag was carved from fine mutton-fat jade, and the collar was made from excellent materials. Once Doufu wore it, the kitten immediately looked dazzlingly luxurious.
Song Pu carried the kitten around the mansion deliberately, making several slow circuits.
Before long, the entire household knew that the emperor had gifted him a cat, and people came over one after another to see it.
The previous Duke, Old Master Song, had six sons. Apart from Song Pu’s branch, the other branches had been enthusiastically expanding their families for years. By now the Duke’s residence had become a huge and lively household.
Including servants, there were more than four hundred people living there. And wherever there were people, there was intrigue.
The Duke’s household was no exception.
When Emperor Tantai Yi had previously issued an order selecting companions to attend him in the palace, “Song Pu” had been among those chosen. At the time Song Pu’s mother had burst into tears and gone to plead with Old Master Song.
The other branches of the family had mocked them openly and secretly, annoying the old duke so much that he simply shut himself away and refused to get involved. Song Pu’s mother had been so furious she couldn’t eat for days.
That grudge had never been forgotten.
Qingmei had once told Song Pu that his second uncle’s wife, Lady Zhao, had the sharpest tongue in the household. It had been her barbed remarks that had reduced Song Pu’s mother to tears.
Lady Zhao’s son, Song Jian, had clearly inherited her temperament.
Seeing Song Pu parading around so smugly with the cat, he muttered under his breath, “It’s just an animal. What’s there to be so proud about?”
His younger sister Song Wanyu was still a child, but she had already grown spoiled and domineering under their mother’s influence. “Ge, I want a cat too! I want the one he’s holding!”
Song Jian immediately called out loudly, “My meimei* wants the cat you’re holding. Let her have a look.”
(*TN: little sister)
Before Song Pu could answer, Song Wanyu rushed forward and grabbed it. She seized Doufu by one leg and yanked hard.
The kitten shrieked in alarm, meowing frantically as it struggled in Song Pu’s arms. Song Pu grabbed her wrist at once. “You can’t pull its leg. Let go first. Then I’ll let you hold it.”
But Song Wanyu ignored him and pulled even harder.
The kitten ended up dangling halfway off Song Pu’s arm, crying pitifully. “I don’t care! I want it! Give it to me!”
Song Pu finally lost his temper.
He was usually gentle with girls and rarely got angry. But although Song Wanyu was young, her behaviour was too rough. In his haste, he slapped her hand away.
She was a child with delicate skin, and the blow startled her. She immediately burst into tears.
Because force works both ways, Song Pu hissed in pain too. Looking down, he saw his own palm had turned bright red.
Song Wanyu howled as if her heart had been torn apart, tears pouring down her face. “Tang-ge* hit me! It hurts! I want the cat! Waaaah!”
(*TN: address for paternal older cousin brother)
Song Jian jumped forward angrily. “How could you hit someone? She only wanted to hold your cat!”
The people watching exchanged glances. They had all seen what happened, but no one had expected things to escalate like this.
Soon the commotion attracted others. Song Lingyun arrived with another young man.
“What’s going on here?” he asked, frowning.
When Song Wanyu saw him, her crying immediately weakened. She clearly feared this cousin. But Song Jian secretly pinched her. She instantly began wailing again.
Song Pu felt somewhat embarrassed by the dramatic crying, though he still felt justified. Meanwhile Doufu had burrowed straight into his robes, hiding inside his collar.
“It’s nothing,” Song Pu said. “She wanted to hold the cat, and I didn’t want her to.”
Song Lingyun gave a cold snort. “Song Wanyu!”
The girl jumped and hiccupped, falling silent.
“That cat was bestowed by His Majesty,” he said sharply. “And you dared to grab it?”
Then his tone turned colder. “But since you like it so much, I’ll speak to His Majesty tomorrow and have you sent to the palace as well. How does that sound?”
The emperor’s cruelty was no secret among the noble families.
In the past, bodies from the palace had reportedly been dumped in mass graves almost daily. Because of this reputation, Emperor Tantai Yi was the kind of figure used to frighten children into silence.
At once, Song Wanyu’s face turned pale. “I don’t want the cat anymore! I don’t want to go to the palace!”
Song Lingyun smiled faintly. “But I think you still want it. Tomorrow I’ll petition His Majesty. Say that my cousin Wanyu has long admired him and wishes only to enter the palace as a maid so she can serve at his side. Wouldn’t that satisfy you?”
Both Song Jian and Song Wanyu went deathly pale. Even at their young age they understood how vicious that threat was. Song Pu felt a little sorry for her. “Ge, that’s enough.”
Song Lingyun smiled slightly.
“Don’t strut around in front of Ah-Pu* again,” he said coldly to the siblings. “If I wanted to crush you, it would be as easy as crushing ants. Understand?”
(*TN: adding an “ah-” before a name is informal and affectionate way of addressing someone.)
Song Wanyu burst into frightened tears and ran away. Song Jian hurried after her.
Song Pu turned to Song Lingyun. “Why scare her like that?”
“Scare her?” Song Lingyun said casually. “I’m serious. A large number of palace maids have died recently. The palace is short-handed.”
He continued calmly: “The Empress Dowager is organising a selection. 108 unmarried girls from commoner families and from officials’ households of seventh rank and above.”
He glanced back. “Song Wanyu is twelve this year. Just the right age to enter the palace.”
Song Pu: “…”
His first thought upon hearing this was…
The damned emperor really has good fortune with women.
Author’s Note
up: 108 girls? Dog Emperor, can you even handle that?!
Ah-Gou*: For you, I could handle all 108. 😏
