Chapter 60

The sensation was warm; Rong Tang even felt a slight burning the instant the tears splattered onto his skin.

He blinked automatically, and his eyes finally adjusted to the dim environment around him.

Su Huaijing’s eyes were closed, the corners red. Tears slowly fell uncontrollably, one after another. Some dripped onto his chin, while others plopped directly onto Rong Tang’s face, creating tiny splashes.

Each drop was scalding and real.

The beauty under the lamp was before him, with thick eyelashes, a straight nose, and warm lips and tongue. It felt like being suffused with an anaesthetic as he gently but irresistibly explored Rong Tang’s mouth, invading and occupying with extreme gentleness.

His warmth numbed the senses and swept away the bitterness, yet he was unyielding and forceful, not allowing Rong Tang to retreat even an inch.

His palms moved from Rong Tang’s arms to his waist. There was a gentle breeze outside, and the light of stars and dust intertwined. The cicadas emerging from the ground sang wanton praises of survival after the disaster. Rong Tang gradually became deprived of oxygen, and the scenes before him turned into brilliant halos, almost giving him the weightless sensation of drowning.

He inadvertently opened his mouth to exhale, which gave Su Huaijing the signal to advance. The hands on his waist tightened, and the two bodies pressed even closer. In his hazy state, Rong Tang felt Su Huaijing’s palm shift, as if trying to slip in through the hem of his clothes.

It wasn’t until he felt a sudden sense of resistance in front of him that Rong Tang snapped back to reality. He was about to push him away, but Su Huaijing had already released him and taken a half-step back. Thus, Rong Tang’s half-raised hand froze in midair.

He stared blankly at Su Huaijing, his mind still in a daze.

The main villain’s eyes were red and even a little swollen. Though he had stopped crying, his eyes still appeared pitifully sad, resembling a dog more and more. His lips were also red and glistening with a suspicious sheen.

Rong Tang was stunned for a long time and finally figured out what had just occurred. He lowered his hand and silently bowed his head, glanced down, then looked away again.

“……”

The growth is quite impressive.

It rose rather quickly.

Should I praise his fortunately-timed retreat?

But…… why can he still get hard while crying?

Rong Tang found it most perplexing.

He even frowned slightly and began to lose focus. It wasn’t until the tip of his tongue turned extremely numb that he lowered his head and swirled his tongue inside his mouth, attempting to relieve the numbness.

Most preposterous.

Truly, extremely preposterous.

When he was in Yong’an Lane, he’d even worried that if Su Huaijing saw his books, it would lead the main villain astray. However, it turned out that the main villain, whom he regarded as a “Boyboy” had already learned how to kiss at some point.

Moreover, a big problem seemed to have emerged with his orientation?

Rong Tang had a lot of questions throughout the night. Right now, he just wants to go back in time and beat up his past self, who wanted to seek out Su Huaijing as soon as he woke up.

Because he didn’t know how to face Su Huaijing now.

He was the one who was forcibly kissed, and he was the one who was “violated” by the person he treated like a Boyboy. But his mind went blank for a moment, and he didn’t know how to communicate with Su Huaijing.

He began to reflect on where exactly things had gone wrong.

Rong Tang pursed his lips but suddenly felt a subtle stinging sensation. The feeling of being sucked was particularly clear, and almost the moment their lips touched, his brain instinctively recalled the memory.

Rong Tang immediately opened his mouth slightly.

The bitterness and burning sensation caused by the decoction were all replaced by another, more hidden, astringent feeling. Besides being confused, Rong Tang was also slightly annoyed.

After all, he is a college student and has lived two extra lives. His total life experience far exceeds that of a seventeen-year-old youth—the main villain—and yet…… he’d been kissed to the point where he couldn’t stand it, even feeling his legs go weak.

Just as he was about to curse, he met Su Huaijing’s eyes, red from crying like a rabbit’s. Forget cursing; he was afraid that he would instinctively want to comfort him as soon as he opened his mouth.

But this shouldn’t be the case. He should ask Su Huaijing what he was thinking, why he did something so outrageous, and why he had a physical reaction towards him.

But he couldn’t get himself to ask.

Rong Tang swallowed a gulp of non-existent saliva, hesitated for a moment, and opened his mouth. “Su——”

“Tangtang.” Su Huaijing interrupted him, his voice gentle and warm as usual, but with a bit of hoarseness deep down that was difficult for the average person to detect.

Rong Tang was slightly startled. He raised his head and forced himself not to look at the place where Su Huaijing had a physical reaction, focusing only on his face.

Su Huaijing’s eyes curved as he smiled pitifully, evoking sympathy. To use a rather inappropriate metaphor, if he went to Yu capital’s Fengyue House, he would probably make all the young nobles in the capital spend a fortune to see him smile.

Who could bear to see him cry?

With his phoenix eyes bright red and skin as white as spring snow, illuminated by the warm yellow candlelight, anyone would be moved by him.

Rong Tang’s heart skipped a beat, and he immediately wanted to look away. But Su Huaijing asked, “Does Tangtang hate me?”

“?”

Rong Tang was puzzled and fell silent for a moment. “Why do you ask that?”

He thought there was nothing wrong with his question, but he didn’t realise it had touched Su Huaijing’s heartache. Su Huaijing blinked slightly, his eyelashes casting a shadow. His head, which should have been held proudly, was bowed, looking very dejected. “That means you hate me.”

Rong Tang: “???”

He was extremely surprised and then heard Su Huaijing twisting the truth without blinking: “If you didn’t hate me, you wouldn’t ask why.”

Rong Tang: “……Can you be a bit more normal?”

Su Huaijing blinked, seemingly genuinely confused: “What’s not normal about me?”

Rong Tang: “……?” What part of you is normal?!

He couldn’t stop his eyes from moving downward, and Su Huaijing followed his gaze without feeling any shame. Instead, he calmly asked, “Does Tangtang think this is abnormal?”

Rong Tang turned away and said nothing, although he very much wanted to nod.

Su Huaijing appeared increasingly confused. Determined, he walked up to Rong Tang and asked seriously, “Why is it abnormal?”

Rong Tang had just been kissed until he was a little short of oxygen and had no time to react, feeling his hands and feet go weak. Now, unable to walk away, he was trapped in the kitchen and interrogated. He clearly felt the temperature of his ears rising.

“Which part…… is normal?” he asked with difficulty.

Su Huaijing responded naturally, “You are my husband; I like you, and it’s perfectly natural for me to have a reaction when I kiss you. How is that abnormal?”

As he spoke, he even glanced at Rong Tang’s lower body. “Tangtang, it’s you who isn’t normal. But your health is weak, and you’ve been taking medicine for years, so it is indeed difficult for you to get aroused. I don’t blame you.”

Difficult, to, get, aroused.

You really put it tactfully!

Rong Tang’s face turned a little red. He grasped the biggest problem in Su Huaijing’s words and emphasised, “Pretend husband.”

A dark glint flashed in Su Huaijing’s eyes, but his expression remained innocent as he retorted, “Worshiped before heaven and earth, formally and legally married, a real husband and wife. These are Tangtang’s own words.”

Rong Tang was speechless for a moment and began to inwardly curse Ke Hongxue. Why did he have to provoke him into saying such things?!

Na! Now I’ve been caught by the main villain!

He frowned and said forcefully, “The premise was that everyone gets what they need. You agreed to pretend to be a married couple.”

“I’ve changed my mind,” Su Huaijing replied softly.

The firewood in the medicine stove burned bit by bit. The finished medicine bowl was placed on the stove, and all traces gradually dissipated. Even the sweet, bitter smell of the herbs in the air would soon disappear with the passing wind.

There seemed to be no witness to everything that happened tonight, except for a white moth that flew in through the wooden window frame.

Rong Tang was instantly dumbstruck. He looked blankly at Su Huaijing, thinking that he had just misheard.

But Su Huaijing looked into his eyes and repeated, “I regret it.”

There was a bit of astringency in his throat. He didn’t know if it was the decoction he just drank coming back up, but Rong Tang couldn’t tell for a moment. It was rare for Su Huaijing not to hold his hand, but he stood there, slowly and seriously telling him, making sure he understood: “Rong Tang, I regret it.”

Rong Tang was stunned, abruptly realising that this seemed to be the first time he had called his name.

“I don’t want to be a pretend married couple, and I don’t want to wait slowly for you to like me. You said you fell in love with me at first sight, and I will treat it as if you fell in love with me at first sight. Now, treat it as if I have fallen for you after being with you for a long time, and you accept it, okay?” Su Huaijing asked softly, as if seeking his opinion, but his expression was completely different.

Rong Tang had been searching for his thoughts for a long time and felt that something had gone off track from the moment he stepped into the kitchen tonight.

With the medicine stove between them, Su Huaijing had told him not to come over. He should have obediently listened.

Previously, he had always been very obedient.

Rong Tang’s Adam’s apple bobbed. He allowed himself to calm down and regain his senses. Taking a half-step back, he distanced himself from Su Huaijing before lifting his gaze to meet his through the dim candlelight.

A moth flew over their heads, circling and testing the temperature of the candle.

Rong Tang asked, “Why?”

“What answer do you want to hear?” Su Huaijing let out a soft laugh, his fingers hanging by his side, habitually resting on his waist tablet. He asked, “Tangtang clearly knows the answer, so why do you still ask me? Is it because you don’t believe me, or do you want me to say it again?”

—“I’m good-looking, intelligent, gentle, patient, and considerate… Doesn’t Tangtang like it?”

—“I like Tangtang more and more.”

—“As long as you are happy.”

—”……”

Each word, each line, was not feigned, not an act. The speaker was sincere, and the listener unwittingly had the intention. At this moment, the beads finally strung together, revealing that the words and deeds were true.

Su Huaijing took a step forward, slightly dispelling some of the irritation caused by Rong Tang’s retreat.

He remained gentle, his gaze so affectionate that he only had eyes for him: “Tangtang, I said I like you, but you don’t believe me every time.”

He continued, “I originally thought I could wait for you to believe me. You’re two years older than me; surely you will understand eventually. But now, I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“We are husband and wife. My name is in your family’s genealogy, written next to yours. Even when we die, we’ll be buried together in the same coffin. Why am I not allowed to like you?”

A moth flew into the candle wick, its wings creating a wisp of white smoke before the fragile creature fled in panic.

Su Huaijing tilted his head slightly, looking at Rong Tang with confusion and stubbornly insisting on an answer.

Rong Tang was dazed for a long time and said with difficulty, “I won’t live long.”

Su Huaijing lightly replied, “Then I’ll be buried with you.”

Rong Tang was shocked, his eyes widening in disbelief.

Su Huaijing reached out and took Rong Tang’s hand into his own again. He smiled, his eyes still red, and said, “I still have some things to do. If heaven is willing, you will accompany me until then. Whenever you leave is when I’ll be buried with you. If…… heaven truly despises me and refuses to grant me even this small request, then I’ll trouble Tangtang to wait for me in the underworld for a while. Once I’m done, I’ll come find you, and we’ll cross the Naihe Bridge* holding hands.”

(TN: Naihe Bridge (奈何桥) is a concept from Chinese mythology and folklore, often associated with the afterlife. It is a bridge that souls must cross to reach the afterlife or realm of the dead.)

The wind outside the house grew louder and louder, and it seemed like rain was coming again. Inside, the candlelight flickered. The moth, with half its wing burnt, still refused to repent and dove into the flame again until it turned into ashes.

Rong Tang’s heart was thumping violently in his chest, as if it was going to beat him to death.

He remained frozen in place for a long time and finally asked in a hoarse voice, “Su Huaijing, do you know what you are doing?”

A moth flies into the flame, courting its own demise.

Su Huaijing smiled softly. The young man had matured, and his every frown and smile were captivating, like an immortal from the moon.

He lowered his head slightly, captured Rong Tang’s lips, and pecked him gently. “I know.”

“I’m courting.”